Bare with me, Random thoughts!!

     Things have not exactly been great the past few days but at the same time I can't really complain.I guess it's been one of those auto pilot type things. I can't help but think how, so often it's like we are looking for God to make our lives a little more interesting than they actually are. This brings us to this illusion that fame and riches just solves it all.  I am just now realizing  that I am not the best when it comes to routine...but then does routine ever go away?
      All I know is,I have to believe that there has to be more to all this waking up in the morning and doing what you have to do and paying bills.I know that's what I am looking to find. You know, that place where you actually are doing something that really matters, something that makes a difference.Something bigger than you. Living a life that meant something.
      I feel horrible sometimes when i think about the truth which is, God just puts up with so much. I only decided to give everything to Him when I knew I had hit rock bottom and there was no where else to go. I had all these plans, What I wanted to do and how it was going to be done and nothing was going to stand in my way. Now it rings so true to me that many are the plans in a man's heart but it is the purpose of God that stands. He just let me go around in my own bubble until it burst.
    Many people think Christians are pathetic because it almost seems like they turn to God as a last resort." You are this failure so you figure God can help you out." Even if that was the case, isn't it good to know that all hope is not lost? And this is for those who just do not get it right sometimes. It is good to know that your weakness is what makes you Eligible for His strength to be manifested in your life. He Steps in where He is needed, and I guess we have a clearer picture of what is required of us.
     I think this is where the thoughts of man differ from the thoughts of God, because from my little experience it's almost like He has this all planned out. There was no way I was going to give up everything I knew and loved in pursuit of my destiny and my purpose in God. However, being God and knowing that about me. He just let me manage things and somehow I came to realise this was not going to work... I needed HELP.,At that point He came with a proposal I could not deny.
      All of a sudden I am starting wonder how on this green earth I thought I was created to do my own thing. I guess that's the conflict in being chosen by God, It is more of a predestination thing. GPS is set to destiny when we are born and though we get distracted, He just lets us go around in circles till we decide  to get with the program. Isn't it funny how it is only along the way that things actually start to make sense. He is so merciful that he makes all those wrong turns count for something. In fact at the end of the day it's hard to call them errors.I am not exactly sure where He has me going to be honest , but I am certain about the fact that I am done playing my own cards.
      I have been studying about Joseph lately and it is amazing the journey one must go through if really God  has a job for you. To think that He was seventeen when God told him about his expected end, and dude just kept keeping on despite all hell breaking loose. I sometimes wonder if these people were ordinary. Not once did he complain about how things were going. And here I am at every little stumble losing my mind.
      What I thought was cool though is the fact that regardless of where Joseph was, God was with Him. And I don't mean the type of "God was with him" where He just said it to keep his Sanity. He really was. Dude was running things everywhere he went. He brought reports to his dad from his brothers, he ran things at Potipher's house, He ran things in Prison... It actually hit me when I was studying that, all the hoops were just rehearsals for the big show, running things with Pharoah. Talk about not despising humble beginnings.It was Favor, and it worked everywhere he went.
      I really pray God will give me the grace to see the need for every step I am taking. I do not understand them most of the time but I do believe that the steps of the righteous are ordered by God. It was all planned by God. Joesph was sold to an officer of Pharoah, who'swife was going to seduce him, and ofcourse God knew He was going to turn her down so ... highway to prison. There he was going to discover a gifting which inturn set him before the king, and the same favor that had been working for him in the little places, worked in the great place... I find that amazing.
       I wonder if sometimes Joseph got weak and confused. I am sure He did. The scripture says he told the King's cup holder to remember him for he has been kidnapped into a strange land and brought to prison for nothing. The good news is that He made it, and he was free from bitterness for all the hurt he had to go through on the way. Lord knows some of us need that grace.
     Maybe what we really need is to be able to cultivate the presence of God at every stage. Whether we like hard times or not, The bible guarantees us that God is present in those times, and according to Isaiah 45:3 it is in those times that He reveals to us the hidden treasures and the secret riches He has set in place for us to be the victors he created us to be.
      He is the one who keeps us from the pit to the palace, and ooohhh!!! that does take a while, but it's all process!There's a reason for the madness...