So I have been hiding
While you've been Seeking
Seeking to find me
To keep me.. safe
Safe from my mind
Bundled with guilt
Frustrated by attempts
To make things right
Yet falling short
cause Yeah!!! I'm Caged
Like Paul
Wanting to do right
Yet constantly on the wrong
Wondering if it's worth it
The trying, the failing
See Saw Up and Down
Last Week you told me you loved me
That was before I messed up
Tell me you put that into consideration
Cause truly I have been counting on it
Hoping that somehow if i gave up on me
You wouldn't
Can I atleast tell you the truth?
This race gets hard sometimes
Harder cause now it's no longer others
Letting me down
Played the Blame game
Got used to it
But I know the real issue now
It's me Pops!!
Spitting words in prayer
Convinced I am sincere
Cause I'm almost certain
They came from the depths of my heart
I shed a tear, that should say something
How then could I
in a matter of seconds
Be harnessing pure evil
when a few seconds ago, you were number one
Same Mind, Same tongue, Same heart
See saw Up and Down
It's this battle going on inside of me
My desire to choose you, Love you, be true to you
Cause you deserve nothing less than perfection
Aware that I am far from it
It's amazes me that you'd settle
Settle for my half heartedness
Yet you Go by your Word
Walking the Example of faith
Speaking those things I am not as though I am
Loving and seeing me thus
Cause you made a decision years ago
For this one, I'll make it count
See Saw Up and Down
I'll take you to the Mountains
And through the Valleys
Through the water and Fire
I'll shake everything that's movable
Till that which is true remains
My Strength, My love, My motivation
Cause with me, see, it's easier
Let me have it, the Fear that is
Cause while you don't , I do
I see the part of you that's stable
It's your heart I'm after, Remember
So Halfway is still good enough
Provided you're still on the journey
I could meet you half way
So lift your hands up
And cry if you must
But I'm taking it from here
Loving you for you and nothing else
Pressing past that weakness
Till you too can give yourself a chance
You're almost on the ground again
But remember, when you get there
All you need to do is push
And up you go again
See Saw Up and Down
Why this journey
There is a major factor we most often fail to consider when we make plans for the future, that factor my friends, is called Life.In my mind I picture it like the game Hide and Seek.You have a few minutes to find a spot, and Ready or not.. here it comes. Life unravels itself in the most random way sometimes, and regardless of how much we prepare for it, I am learning that there are certain things we will just never see coming.
As Human beings we are all vulnerable to the Whens, Whys, Hows and Wheres that the various circumstances we face throw at us. Sometimes it's just that tiny little piece of the puzzle we are searching for, and other times it's the uncertainty about where to begin.
So I began a journey,a search is to discover what it was in me that was constant. I wanted to know the thing that stands true even when hit with the greatest paradox in life,that immeasurable gap between my dreams and my reality.
This Blog is all about that journey. An attempt to hold unto one thing I am certain was the same the day I was born, and will stay true till I die.
Giving my Life to Jesus has released to me what I believe is the greatest treasure of all times. The best way I can describe it is as, is a Personal mirror of truth.I must admit that my reflection scares me most of the time, for the simple fact that it is perfect.I must admit that I have been bothered by the parallels of what I see and how I feel but slowly I see possibility of these paths merging. This Perfection, I have come to understand to be the way GOD sees me. It is independent of what I have said or not said, what I have done or have not done. It is that part of me that does not fluctuate.
I look deep into this mirror and though what I see must be true, it seems so hard to believe because it is contrary to what i know of myself.
I am hoping that through this journey , I can grow to share God's Perspective which is The reflection in the mirror.It is Clear now and I hope it becomes even clearer, I am just perfect for the Job He has for me.
I hope these reflections, prayers, poems and thoughts will strike a cord in you too and maybe we all can start looking past what Life says about us, to finding our own mirrors and admiring that perfect reflection in the Mirror.
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